Ask the Doctor

Having taken my second Saturday off since Xmas and gone fro a 3 hour bike ride (two bridges) around Vancouver from 11:00 to 3:00 (well, we did stop to eat) today when the thermometer hit 38 degrees celsius (over 100 F) I came home to find three versions of this in my mailbox. I was out there trying to get in shape and only stopped once going up the rather smallish hill on the Burrard bridge. I was out there trying to get in shape while enjoying myself, but maybe someone is trying to tell me something. ingram


Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't
waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like
saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.


Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is
nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to
your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of
field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100%
of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy
is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity
bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made
out of grain. Bottoms up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these
days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could
getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions
you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO,
What a Ride"

God's gift to us ,are the people who love us.
Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather
openings where our loved ones shine down to let us
know they are happy

Our gift to God is what we do with our lives

Hope your week is great so far and getting better with every moment...

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