SOME MORE - Occasionally we need some truths in our

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Zen thoughts from my Californian Friend:
1  Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead
of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just
pretty much leave me the    hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal
your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting
any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a
couple of car payments.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it
was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
14 Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
15. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half
and put it back in your pocket.
17. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
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 THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID
 AOCCDRNIG TO A RSCHEEARCH AT CMABRIGDE UINERVTISY, IT DEOSN'T
MTTAER IN WAHT OREDR THE LTTEERS IN A WROD ARE, THE OLNY
IPRMOATNT
TIHNG IS TAHT THE FRIST AND LSAT LTTEER BE IN THE RGHIT PCLAE.
THE
RSET CAN BE A TAOTL MSES AND YOU CAN SITLL RAED IT WOUTHIT A
PORBELM.
TIHS IS BCUSEAE THE HUAMN MNID DEOS NOT RAED ERVEY LTETER BY
ISTLEF,
BUT THE WROD AS A WLOHE.
P.S. The above is not Esparanto
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This is what will happen in Canada, if the Green Party forms the
Government :
 Peg, the tree hugging greenie, purchased a large tract of land
on the West Coast South of Hokitika to save it from being
clearfelled. There was a very tall tree on the highest point of
her property. She wanted to see all of her land, so she began
climbing the tree in a "bear hug" fashion. As she neared the top
she was suddenly attacked by an angry possum.
In a panic to escape, she let loose her grip with her arms and
legs and slid down the trunk at an ever increasing speed.
Consequently, she managed to get many splinters in the area of
her private parts. In very considerable pain, she hurried to the
nearest Doctor, who worked at the large logging camp nearby.
He calmly listened to her story, then told her to go into the
examination room, where he would try to ease her suffering. She
went into the room, sat down with much discomfort and waited for
over three hours before the Doctor reappeared. Outraged, Peg
demanded "What took you so long"?
The unperturbed Doctor replied: "Well I had to get permits from
the Environmental Protection Authority, the Forestry Commission,
the Maori Affairs Department, the Department of Land Management,
the Waitangi Tribunal and Resource Consent, before I could remove
old-growth timber and moss from a recreational area.
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This is the reply I received from one of my correspondents in
response to a recent e-mail of mine concerning the origins of
some phrases which are now
commonplace in our language :( Don't say the internet is not
educational )
DEPARTMENT OF THE NAVY -- NAVAL HISTORICAL CENTER
805 KIDDER BREESE SE -- WASHINGTON NAVY YARD
WASHINGTON DC 20374-5060
Brass Monkey
The word "monkey" is of uncertain origin; its first known usage
was in 1498 when it was used in the literary work Reynard the Fox
as the name of the son of Martin the Ape. "Monkey" has numerous
nautical meanings, such as a small coastal trading vessel, single
masted with a square sail of the 16th and 17th centuries; a small
wooden cask in which grog was carried after issue from a grog-tub
to the seamen's messes in the Royal Navy; a type of marine steam
reciprocating engine where two engines were used together in
tandem on the same propeller shaft; and a sailor whose job
involved climbing and moving swiftly (usage dating to 1858). A
"monkey boat" was a narrow vessel used on canals (usage dating to
1858); a "monkey gaff" is a small gaff on large merchant vessels;
a "monkey jacket" is a close fitting jacket worn by sailors;
"monkey spars" are small masts and yards on vessels used for the
"instruction and exercise of boys;" and a "monkey pump" i s a
straw used to suck the liquid from a small hole in a cask; a
"monkey block" was used in the rigging of sailing ships; "monkey
island" is a ship's upper bridge; "monkey drill" was calisthenics
by naval personnel (usage dating to 1895); and "monkey march" is
close order march by US Marine Corps personnel (usage dating to
1952). [Sources: Cassidy, Frederick G. and Joan Houston Hall eds.
Dictionary of American Regional English. vol.3 (Cambridge MA:
Harvard University Press, 1996): 642; Wilfred Granville. A
Dictionary of Sailors' Slang (London: Andre Deutch, 1962): 77;
Peter Kemp ed. Oxford Companion to Ships & the Sea. (New York:
Oxford University; Press, 1976): 556; The Oxford English
Dictionary. New York: Oxford University Press, 1933; J.E. Lighter
ed. Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang. (New
York: Random House, 1994): 580.; and Eric Partridge A Dictionary
of Slang and Unconventional English. 8th ed. (New York :
Macmillan Publishing Company): 917.]
"Monkey" has also been used within an ordnance context. A
"monkey" was a kind of gun or cannon (usage dating to 1650).
"Monkey tail" was a short hand spike, a lever for aiming a
carronade [short-sight iron cannon]. A "powder monkey" was a boy
who carried gun powder from the magazine to cannons and performed
other ordnance duties on a warship (usage dating to 1682).
[Source: The Oxford English Dictionary. New York: Oxford
University Press, 1933.]
The first recorded use of the term "brass monkey" appears to
dates to 1857 when it was used in an apparently vulgar context by
C.A. Abbey in his book Before the Mast, where on page 108 it says
"It would freeze the tail off a brass monkey." [Source: Lighter,
J.E. ed. Random House Historical Dictionary of American Slang.
(New York: Random House, 1994): 262.]
It has often been claimed that the "brass monkey" was a holder or
storage rack in which cannon ball s (or shot) were stacked on a
ship. Supposedly when the "monkey" with its stack of cannon ball
became cold, the contraction of iron cannon balls led to the
balls falling through or off of the "monkey." This explanation
appears to be a legend of the sea without historical
justification. In actuality, ready service shot was kept on the
gun or spar decks in shot racks (also known as shot garlands in
the Royal Navy) which consisted of longitudinal wooden planks
with holes bored into them, into which round shot (cannon balls)
were inserted for ready use by the gun crew. These shot racks or
garlands are discussed in: Longridge, C. Nepean. The Anatomy of
Nelson's Ships. (Annapolis MD: Naval Institute Press, 1981): 64.
A top view of shot garlands on the upper deck of a
ship-of-the-line is depicted in The Visual Dictionary of Ships
and Sailing. New York: Dorling Kindersley, 1991): 17.
"Brass monkey" is also the nickname for the Cunard Line's house
flag which depi cts a gold lion rampant on a red field. [Source:
Rogers, John. Origins of Sea Terms. (Mystic CT: Mystic Seaport
Museum, 1984): 23.]
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2 May 2001
gos-sip (gósip) 1. n. easy, fluent, trivial talk ¦ an instance of
this, she dropped in for a gossip ¦ talk about people behind
their backs ¦ a person who indulges in gossip 2. v.i. to talk
idly, chatter esp. about people gós-sip-y adj. [O.E. godsibb,
baptismal sponsor fr. god, God + sibb, akin]
The New Lexicon Webster's Dictionary of the English Language 1988
Edition
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