Be ALERT! The World needs more "LERTS".

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Dear David,
I was out this afternoon, running around and visiting thrifts in east Vancouver.
Imagine my surprise when I found not one, but three lerts at the local Value Village on Victoria.
They were down in the basement, that dingy place where they store books and furniture and stuff.  Anyway, I went down as I customarily do, browsed the books and then circumnavigated the room, just looking about.  Then - there they were!!!!  Right beside the television and next to the old computer parts all done up in plastic bags.  Finding one lert is a rare privilege but finding three is astounding, as you well know.
The three are medium in size for lerts.  All are in excellent condition, hardly used at all.  One is marked "Made in USA" and has the normal copyright symbol; the others appear to be foreign lerts but I cannot venture a guess as to where they were made.  I was so excited that I put them all in a used aquarium and took the whole lot upstairs to the till.  $4.99 for the lot!!!  Now, you cannot beat that!  Anyway, I have them here and three together make an astounding display!  The colours are so nice and after you plug them all in, the lights are so wonderful!!!
That is not all.  On my way to my van, I noticed a funny little animal next to the dumpster.  Coming closer, the little fellow, whatever it was, was certainly alive.  When I bent down to pick it up, it was a scruple!!!!  Now, you know how hard is to find any lawyer with a scruple, but I now have the little fellow with woodchips and all tucked into that aquarium that I bought with the three lerts.  Little Boots is entranced, but I must remember to get a top for the aquarium as Boots is big enough to do harm to that scruple.  They are not very big - at least, not the one I have. 
Tomorrow, I intend to browse the pawnshops looking for a qualm.  Always needed one of those and it would so well with the lerts.  I am hoping to find one in grey or perhaps one of the nice crimson varieties.   
Take care,
Willow     
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david ingram replies:
Be ALERT!  The world needs more "lerts" - a scruple or two is alright as well.
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